How To Know What You Don’t Know: Technical Leadership Humility

Why the best leaders work from clarity, not ego.

Early in my career, our lead programmer went on vacation, right before a critical project. That’s when the CEO asked me:

“Can you program the central plant while he’s out?”

Me? I was taken aback. I remember thinking...

I can do anything… if I understand exactly what needs to be done. So I said something I’ve never forgotten:

“I’ll gladly step up, but I want to be clear: I don’t know what I don’t know. And right now, I don’t know how a central plant water system actually works.”

The CEO said “great, that’s the easiest part” and spent his morning walking me through the system, how the plant integrated with valves, pumps, safeties, sequences, and start commands.

He spent the morning with me, laying it out. And I spent the rest of the week delivering one of the most rewarding projects I’ve ever worked on.

Understand that there were hiccups and small bugs in the code but I had done it, programmed my first central plant.

That experience taught me something that’s stuck with me ever since:

The best leaders don’t avoid challenges. But they do respect complexity. They know when to ask. And they know how to learn fast, without faking it.

Technical Leadership Humility.

It’s about having the discipline to admit when you don’t, and the work ethic to learn from it after.

There’s a balance here.

If you always stop and ask for help, you’ll never build judgment. But if you never ask, you’ll repeat the same blind spots for years.

The goal isn’t to press the “easy button.” It’s to press pause, long enough to reflect, reset, and come back sharper.

Here’s What “Knowing What You Don’t Know Looks Like

1. You ask for help and then study the answer later Don’t stop at the fix. Rebuild the logic in your head when you get home.

2. You take notes after mistakes, not just victories Replicate the error mentally so you can spot it the next time under pressure.

3. You drop your ego and accept criticism And when they’re right, you say so. That creates a culture of trust and continuous learning.

4. You call in expertise, without checking out mentally Bringing in help isn’t about stepping aside. It’s about staying engaged and leveling up.

5. You build reference from experience Document the lessons, patterns, and gotchas. Experience is only valuable if you capture it.

The Real Risk Isn’t Not Knowing

It’s thinking you know when you don’t and being too proud or too passive to confront it.

That’s how systems fail. That’s how trust erodes. That’s how individuals stall out in year three instead of growing into leaders.

You don’t need to be the smartest person in the room. You need to be the one who’s still learning, and accountable while doing it.

What’s something you used to think you knew, until experience taught you better?

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